In this summer of observances, is there no acclaim for Canada’s worst poet?
PARLIAMENT HILL—In this summer of observances, is there no acclaim for Canada’s worst poet? James Gay, a tavern-keeper and incompetent writer, is renowned in literary circles and beloved by historians in his hometown of Guelph, Ont. He called himself our first poet laureate. His poems are universally dreadful—a string of words tumbling like hay […]
Anything can happen any time with this government
OTTAWA—We opened a time capsule the other day. It revealed a fascinating glimpse into a dusty and forgotten past. We buried it six months ago. This is what happened: one quiet, snowy morning last December, with the House out of session and reporters playing pinochle, 10 friends and I opted to pass the time […]
Senate security guards have a run-in with a Hill visitor
PARLIAMENT HILL—What do you get when you take a “police force” and (a) hire staff with no police experience; and (b) subject them to less public oversight than floorwalkers at Wal-Mart? The result is the Senate Protective Service, a little-known agency recently called out in court for conduct that would outrage any Canadian. The […]
With whitewash in hand, we now commemorate 1812
PARLIAMENT HILL—Cabinet members, soft and chauffeured, proclaim a summer celebration of death in battle—not that they’ve seen it first-hand. Non-combatants outnumber veterans in Cabinet by 37-to-one, excluding Environment Minister Peter Kent who as a war correspondent covered the fall of South Vietnam in 1975. Most combat veterans rate war an obscenity. On Parliament Hill, […]
Budget bill should be called the Lobbyists’ Bill, it’s a gift for oil and gas lobbyists
PARLIAMENT HILL—“Canada’s golden age,” one MP called it. The House was in session, after dark, grinding through C-38, the Lobbyists’ Bill. Drafted in secret, frog-marched on closure, its provisions hidden from voters in the last campaign, the bill reads like it was ghostwritten at the Calgary Petroleum Club. It puts Canada dead last among […]
Don’t forget old what’s-his-name
PARLIAMENT HILL—We’ll never forget old what’s-his-name. The Library of Parliament erased Charles Tupper, a Father of Confederation, from an online reference guide on prime ministers. “Oh, wow!” says Scott Armstrong, Conservative MP for Tupper’s home riding in Cumberland County, Nova Scotia. “This shocks me.” These are hard times for Tupper. The library gaffe follows […]
Odd but true story: when misfortune strikes two towns
PARLIAMENT HILL—An odd but true story: misfortune struck two towns. Both were off the path, unknown to most, but had deep community roots and were home to good Canadians. What occurred next is so unbelievable it should be put down on paper before they say it never happened. The misfortune in one town, Slave […]
Does no one see a problem in Elections Canada looking into Elections Canada?
PARLIAMENT HILL—Elections Canada is looking into irregularities in votes managed by—Elections Canada. Does no one see a problem? Police must be relentless, fearless, and meticulous in pursuit of truth. Yet the nation’s vote police, Elections Canada, are short on all counts. Evidence shows the agency appears oblivious to election manipulation by party operatives; that […]
Toews makes it harder for prisoners to buy puzzles and prayer mats
PARLIAMENT HILL—In the annals of Hill entertainers, 2012 will be remembered as the year The Vic Toews Show ran its course. It’s been a great ride: this B-talent from Steinbach, Man., who made top bill by declaring war on phantom crime waves, then slandering fellow MPs as being in league with pornographers, then complaining […]
Lougheed gets lionized as greatest premier of the era
PARLIAMENT HILL—Memories, like fishing anecdotes, grow more outrageous with time. So it is that 27 years after he left office, Alberta’s Peter Lougheed is lionized as the greatest premier of the era, a political colossus. He is praised lavishly on TVO. An Edmonton Journal item asks, “Lougheed For Governor General?” A tribute in his […]
